Hello blogville,

how are you doing? These days I have to get up really early to get some me time, I do love that time of the morning when the whole household is still asleep and it feels like I’m alone in the house, heehehehehe, I do look forward to my babies waking up though, their bright faces make my day.


Anyway a little random post, I remembered reading an article about emotional intelligence many many years ago, unfortunately for me, I did not save that article and now some days, I wish I could go back and read it as I don’t remember most of the crucial point I read and can’t find it online anymore, it was one of the best articles I ever read. One point that really stuck with me though is this “when you try to fix an emotional problem with a physical one, you are in trouble”  I’ll explain.

For example, if you have a headache, without getting too scientific and keeping it simple, the symptom you feel is a throbbing head which is impairing you physically at that moment, so you use an analgesic such as paracetamol, panadol e.t.c to alleviate the symptom, basically you do something physical to get rid of a physical problem.

On the other hand, if you have an emotional problem such as say depression, you have 2 options, fix it emotionally by finding the root cause of the depression, you can do this by yourself by self analysis or if it’s too much for you to do that, you can find a therapist to help you, the same goes for problems like anxiety, phobias, OCD to name a few.  Apparently according to the article, nearly all emotional problems have a root cause either from childhood, through trauma e.t.c.

The other option is to try to fix emotional problems with a physical solution, these solutions at best are temporary, because of the temporary nature of the solutions, people find themselves going back for more and this is when addiction kicks in and a physical solution to an emotional problem becomes a “problem”, do you see where I’m going with this.  So it seems that one cannot treat depression, anxiety, phobias with drugs, alcohol, sex e.t.c legally or illegally.  These physical solution are at best temporary, they are like putting a bandage on a major wound without any internal treatment, it may cover up the wound from the outside world while it festers on the inside.  I don’t really want to complicate this post with scientific jargon as I’ve been known to do 🙂 it’s the scientist in me.

I know this is not my usual talk only I watched any episode of “undercover boss” today and there was a girl in the programme talking about how she got into drugs at the age of 16 because a lot of bad things happened in her childhood, fortunately for her, she got out of it after 6 years, she talked about how hard it was to get out of it and how she only managed to to do it by going to rehab over and over again, she was in her 20s but looked almost 40, I wonder what kinda drug she was doing.  I couldn’t help but wonder whether if she had gone to a good therapist before hitting drugs could have saved her a lot of trouble.

Coming back to the spirit of this blog, the same goes for relationships, when a relationship for example marriage is going through emotional problems, physical solutions such as affairs, having a baby e.t.c are temporary solutions and until the root of the cause is discovered and dealt with, the problem will only continue to fester.

Hopefully you didn’t find this post too unusual 🙂

Bukky Apampa is a wife, a mother, a daughter and a sister 🙂 She loves God and loves to write, I am particularly passionate about relationships and I can be quite opinionated but always interested in other people’s views, I actually enjoy reading and listening to other’s views as it often challenges me that sometimes in this world, life is not always black and white, there are many shades of grey.

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