For Christians maybe?

Hello blogville, how are you all, I really have missed the days I can trawl through the net reading blogs, time has now become gold dust but I’m thankful for every moment sha…..

I’ve been gone so long and then I come with more questions than answers :-)*puts on my cheeky grin*.


I remember been involved in a conversation that I’m not really sure where I stand on it but the question is if you are a Christian, will you date a non-Christian? Ok I’ll tell you about the conversation.

For sake of clarity, I will give made up names, in a group of ladies, we happened to find out that Jessie has been dating a non- Christian guy for about 4 weeks, as soon as Leanne heard this, it was like a vein popped in her head, she jumped up and stood in front of Jessie, like a head teacher telling a student off, she told Jessie that had she forgotten about the scripture that says “can two walk together except they be agreed”, Leanne gave Jessie a whole sermon about why dating a non-Christian is wrong, I sat quietly listening to Leanne for two reasons, one, I wanted Jessie to tell us more about this man she’s been dating, secondly because I truly didn’t have a convincing opinion on the matter, this is really based on a couple of experiences I’ve witnessed closely.  Anyway when Leanne finally drew breathe, Jessie quickly jumped in and explained that she’s been in the church all her life and no Christian brother have ever really asked her out, they all claim to be her brother in Christ, and I think I have to say here that Jessie is a very beautiful girl, she continued that she’s not really dating outside of the church because she’s desperate or anything, it really was just to try something new, she then stressed that she has not said that she’s in a relationship with the guy, she is just dating as in he picks her up from her house, they go out for dinner and he drops her back at home, at this stage it’s really no more than 2 friends enjoying each other’s company.  I turned to look at Leanne and I can see another vein about to pop, I have to say secretly I enjoyed watching Leanne ( if you’re reading this, don’t kill me next time we see.. heehehehehe).

Telling you all that was discussed that day on this blog will take pages so I’ll just explain why I didn’t really have an opinion at this time or even now.  Personally when I was dating, I was strictly taught that this type of dating is called missionary or evangelical dating and I have no business getting involved in that but did I break the rules? That’s for another day 🙂

However these are my experiences, I have a very good friend who is a strong solid Christian, I knew this because we have been friends since kindergarten and when she became a Christian, she ran with it, in fact she was one of those people that if you were not friends with her, you’d want to get away from her because all she ever talked about was Jesus!  So imagine my surprise when she started dating this guy who is far from being a Christian, I remembered they dated for some weeks, then she invited him to church, to cut a long story short, today they’ve been happily married for some years and brother is now a minister and a solid Christian.


My second one was another friend who again is a Christian and dated a non-Christian, ended up marrying him and hmmmm, I want to be careful how I say this but I think if she had to do it again, she might do it differently.

I suppose the difference between my 2 friends is that one made sure that the non- Christian she dated became a Christian before she took it any further, the other I think probably wanted the man to become a Christian before she took it further but one thing led to another and marriage ensued, so I guess this is the slippery slope, it just may not work for everyone and you have to know yourself before you get into any relationship, to be honest, I’ve not figured it out myself and not sure I ever will, one thing I’m learning as I’m getting younger 🙂 or shall I say as I’m accumulating life experiences is that things may not be as black and white as I used to think in my younger days, there are many shades of grey in this life’s journey.  What do you say? If you are a Christian, would you date  non-Christian or shall I really just say would you date someone of a different religion to yours and to keep things simple, I’m using the word “DATE” exclusively so not saying marry or in a relationship, I mean “DATE”.  I look forward to reading your thoughts.

Bukky Apampa is a wife, a mother, a daughter and a sister 🙂 She loves God and loves to write, I am particularly passionate about relationships and I can be quite opinionated but always interested in other people’s views, I actually enjoy reading and listening to other’s views as it often challenges me that sometimes in this world, life is not always black and white, there are many shades of grey.

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