Isn’t it a a lovely day today, it’s cold but the sun is out, me love the autumn season, at least it’s not raining
On to my tori of the week, I smiled amusingly as I listened to a bride to be lament that her fiancee is planning to invite his ex to their wedding, in my matter of fact attitude, I said if you’re not happy about it, tell him. She didn’t want to seem like she is jealous about a relationship that was long finish, according to the fiancee, inviting the ex is like inviting any one of his friends as they’ve remained good friends since the end of their relationship.
Personally, I don’t keep in touch with exes, not that I’ve had many *tongue in cheek* As far as I’m concerned, there was a reason the relationship didn’t work, so have a closure and move on. I also could never understand this staying friends with exes business, you had a relationship that went beyond friendship so how do you go back to just being friends eh if it’s not that you’re hoping for more, say in the future or one person has not totally come to terms with the end of the relationship, I’ve always thought people who stay friends with their exes are not ready to move on yet or something. But saying that I have 2 scenarios I’d like to share.
One is a friend of my family who stayed friends with his ex, as a result of this, every time either of them gets into a new relationship, one way or the other, they always manage to break each others relationship up and end up together only to break up again few months down the line, I mean they did this for 10 solid years. Neither was able to move on with other people, when close friends have advised them to completely cut off from each other, their defense is that they’ve always being friends and will always remain good friends. in fact, I tire for them.
The second scenario is a dear friend of mine, who dated a friend but then didn’t work out and they broke up, they remained friends, the guy always calls her to complain about his subsequent girlfriends and she was always there for him, 5 years after their initial breakup, they got back together and are now married with a beautiful family.
So it’s kinda difficult to judge I think. However, in a situation where one person is about to marry another, why do you want to remain friends with an ex? except you’re the type who is disciplined enough not go and be talking about your spouse to the ex especially if the ex isn’t married yet too. Doing this, you leave room for trouble in your marriage o, if you and wifey or hubby are going through a tough time and aunty or uncle nice friend shows some old or rekindled interest, you could start getting ideas.
I’ve had a few good male friends during my single days, not even exes, whom when they got married stopped being my friend, one was gracious enough to actually tell me that his wife was not happy with our friendship hence, he won’t be in touch as much anymore, I actually respected him for this because another one who I was even closer to just cut me off like that, then I called him thinking something was wrong only to meet with a very cold response, kai I was embarrassed o, needless to say that was the last time I made such a call, but now as a married woman, I respect these decisions, if my husband has a female friend that I’m not comfortable with their friendship maybe I would have wanted him to react in the same way but thankfully most of his female friends have transitioned to become my friends and they’re lovely women (I know some are reading this, so send my brownie points later )
So on the original topic, I didn’t think he should invite his ex to the wedding especially if the bride has a problem with it then again, there are people who are of the opinion that it’s not a big deal. what do you reckon? as always, I love reading your take on things. Have a fab weekend.