I know.. random right.. like where has she been???? The most logical explanation is that it’s been a busy year… so do forgive me for the neglect of my blog..

bride waiting

As you will expect, it is about relationships yet again… so I went to lunch with some lovely ladies not long ago and as you know when ladies get together, talk soon turns to relationships… what I love about this mix of women is they were all of different races and religion or no religion, married, single, in-betweens….. so I was very fascinated to hear their take on this simple complicated issue, I know it’s an oxymoron, you’ll see why I used it in a minute…

I won’t really go into my discussion with the ladies but will draw some conclusions from what I heard… while the discussion got pretty complicated, well in my opinion, by the time we were done talking, I was just so overwhelmed 🙂 maybe it’s just me…. Lack of sleep does do things to you…

But my conclusion or confusion call it what you like is… we have completely overcomplicate this issue of marriage in our generation… So I want to try this very simple list not in any particular order…

– Have an aim- generally this would be to find someone to do life with- not for any selfish reason…
– Have a vision- someone who is going the same direction as you e.g want children, where to live e.t.c
– Have similar principles/values- it won’t do for a priest to marry a career criminal now, would it….
– Have same belief- if your beliefs are very important to you, then it’d save you a lot of hassle if you get with someone who shares the same

I know I know… it’s a very simplified version but as I tried to explain earlier I was inspired to come up with this simple list as a bottomline…(heehehehe, what a word to use), my lovely ladies did not manage to convince me that one need another person who will fit every mold for your life… such a person will be waiting as long as the lady in my picture cap :-).

Every time I get with young friends who are still trying to unravel this mystery of marriage relationship, for some reason, they seem to think I know a thing or two….but I always try to simplify this way .. what I’d rather not advise  is this waiting forever business to tick every list… it’s not going to happen…

Something else that irritates me greatly is when married people try to scare the living lights out of singles like marriage is some kinda of a death sentence… when I meet folks who have been married for over 10 years, I always ask if they wished they had remained single the last 10 years, no matter how difficult their relationship may have been, the answer is always that they can’t imagine life without their spouse, so what’s so scary about having someone to share life with…..

My message to my young friends has not changed… do not to be afraid of marriage, be real and do it right….yes you will know some folks with horrible relationship just like there are many out there with good ones, promise yourself you’d stand by your vows and make a good go of yours…it is what it is, it’s life… live it….love it…

Tell me off, tell me what you think….

Bukky Apampa is a wife, a mother, a daughter and a sister 🙂 She loves God and loves to write, I am particularly passionate about relationships and I can be quite opinionated but always interested in other people’s views, I actually enjoy reading and listening to other’s views as it often challenges me that sometimes in this world, life is not always black and white, there are many shades of grey.

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